Preface: Alright happy to be back writing about the shenanigans that happen in my sleep. I just moved into a new place which took a lot of my time and money. But I have finally settled in a bit and have time for more of the things I like to do. I'm still working on trying a possible video entry, more news on that later. This next entry is from one train ride home from work.
I am in the kitchen at my friend Mike's old house. His mother staring me square in the face with Mike at her side. Light is beaming in through the surrounding windows. A plate of toast sits on the squeaky clean kitchen counter with an open jar of jam.
"Mr. Davies!" Mike's mother began to exclaim, "Jam just doesn't go well on toast!" Before I could utter a response Mike barked,
"Davies! Its peanut butter or nothing at all!"
I backed away from their fuming nostrils. They stood in front of me awaiting a response they could shoot down. I gathered myself and knew that I had to change their minds. I tried to create a dramatic air about me to stress the seriousness of what I was about to say. So I straightened my posture, put on my game face, and put one hand behind my back as if I was about to announce something regal.
"My friends! We live in a world of cynicism and ugliness! I will not live my life where my condiment choices are scorned and rejected. Peanut butter and jam can live in harmony. Will you both go through life with your heads down staring only at cobblestones, when all you have to do is lift yours heads and see all the avenues around you. I petition you to step outside your presumed flavor preferences and try peanut butter with jam!"
I watch their faces cringe and their legs scurry to the kitchen drawers. Soon jam was being spread over their already PB'd piece of wheat toast. They both gave me a sort of scowl before taking large bites out of the corner of toast. They each took a brief moment for chewing and soon a look of excitement and astonishment emerged from their faces. I looked at them back and forth waiting for either to say something. Mike's mother finally broke the silence,
"Well Mr. Davies you may well be onto something!"
I woke up to the rattling of the sheet metal from the train. I propped myself back up and looked out the window to gauge where I was. An announcement for the next stop soon erupted from the train intercom and I realized I was only a few stops outside the city. So I relaxed and rested my head against the shaking window.
"My goodness giant Jesus Lizards are attacking the New England shores!" I open my eyes and see that I am standing in the middle of a road. I raise my head and see a horde of panicked people running from their suburban homes. Before I could react their shoulders were soon brushing past me as they fled to whatever was beyond me. One man runs up to me grabs my shoulders and shakes me vigorously.
"For the love of Pete! Run west man! Run west!"
I say nothing because I am still overwhelmed and uncertain of the situation. The man centers his line of vision with my own.
"Check your smart phone! Goodness gracious!"
As the pressure from his firm grip left my shoulders I reached for my phone in my pocket. I browsed the big news network feeds. I eventually came across a video of the ongoing news story that everyone seemed to be buzzing about. It was an aerial view of the Atlantic Ocean. There was a flying-V formation of lizards the size of cruise boats skidding across the water with their webbed feet. The newscaster in the video reported in the background,
"As you can see the lizards have finished Europe and are now heading west to the United States. It is only a matter of time before they take a bite out of the big apple."
I opened my eyes to the sound of the train slowing down.
"I can't keep falling asleep, this is ridiculous." I smacked my cheeks a bit and watched the passing waterfront outside my window.
A loud repetitive pounding sound smacks against my eardrums. I turn to my friend Colin lying next to me on the pebbled roof of a building. An extremely long machine gun resting in his arms. He had loosely fitted an army helmet over his head and had to keep adjusting it after a few shots from the weapon. He turns to me and says,
"Now remember to be efficient with your ammo because wasting a single bullet means one more zombie without a hole through it's head." He awaits a show of understanding from me. I shake my head vigorously in acknowledgment. I look out over the edge of the roof to behold a sea of moaning corpses slowly wobbling towards the building. I sigh and look back towards Colin,
"This again?!"
Colin nods back,
"Yep, I know it is frustrating."
He looks back into his scope and begins to shake with the gun as he squeezes off more shots. The blasts from the gun slowly turn to monotone beeps from the intercom of the train. I began to panic and scrambled for my stuff. The intercom soon calmly stated the next destination and I slowly relaxed once I realized that it is my stop. I put my coat on and walked to the nearest exit and waited for the train to come to a complete stop. I exhaled in relief and muttered,
"I have gotta stop falling asleep on the train."
